i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
