It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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