sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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