How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
