he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
