I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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