I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize