I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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