I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize