Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
