i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
