sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
