I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
