I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
