I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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