remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
