found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
