school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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