There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
