dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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