I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
