I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
