you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
