Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
