And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have fence marks all over my body
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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