He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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