LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
