I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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