none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
