He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
