sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's always time for handjobs
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
