I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
