Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize