i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
