i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
