It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
