Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
