sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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