I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
