I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
