ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
