I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
