Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
