Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize