it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
