Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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