Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When are your genitals available?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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