just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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