I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
