Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
