toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
