she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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