I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
