never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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