dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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