He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
