PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
