If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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