I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
