discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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